Friday, April 22, 2011

I Don't Want Your Crappy Gluten Free Products

I don't want my bread to look like this.  You don't either.

Most of us that are gluten free have had some really bad gluten free products.  I mean really bad.  Cookies that have the consistency of wet sand and bread that crumbles at the slightest touch.  We also know it doesn't have to be this way.  So why do these bad products even exist?

My theory is that people who make crappy gluten free products are not gluten free themselves.  Let me tell you why.

I was at a farmer's market earlier this week and this man had several tables filled with his wife's baked goods.  Included in these baked goods were some gluten free products.  I was very excited.  He had chocolate chip cookies, sandwich bread, and a banana chocolate chip loaf.  He gave me a free cookie to be nice.  It was pretty terrible, but I appreciated the gesture.  Despite the dry cookie, I planned to buy either the bread or the banana loaf because I like trying different products.  I asked him which he thought was better and he said, "Well, I'd say the loaf, but you know, it's hard because... well, they are gluten free."  I gave him a very understanding look and said "Yea, I know".

Well let me tell you something else.  This banana loaf was terrible.  It was dry, tasteless, and wouldn't stay together once I cut into it.  It crumbled into a million tiny, dry, tasteless pieces.  But the thing is, I know it doesn't have to be this way.  I know because I've made gluten free banana bread myself and it was delicious.  So, what I think the man really meant is "This gluten free stuff is never going to taste any good at all.  Too bad for you, you have to eat it."  And since his wife is a professional baker and she made such crappy gf products, she must feel the same way.  They eat all their delicious gluten filled treats and make this crap for the rest of us.  But why even bother?  We don't want your gross banana loaf.

My point is, if these people HAD to eat this way, they wouldn't settle for their own products.  They just wouldn't.  They'd keep trying until they had something better.  Something edible.  This goes for all gluten free products that suck.  So, thanks for making us feel included, but please, unless you'd happily eat this yourself, don't make it for us.  We don't want it.  We can do better.

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